Slipping

I'm slipping

I'm uncovering new layers of unhappy

An explorer of the unwanted

I have a good grip strength

From all those back massages and foot massages and pulling people up when they're down

But I am slipping

You can see it in my eyes, if you are looking

I know you can, because I can feel it in them

And because I'm usually looking

So I know what it looks like in your eyes

But I'm not looking now.

I've stopped looking around so much

The same way we hold the pain closer to our body

Clutching a clipped wing or the embarrassment of a thing

It's the pain in my gaze, once swept wide, now held close

A physical response to a background felt note

I've stopped looking when I cross the street

I know that's a joke we all tell

But I'm not kidding, I noticed it today

I just fix myself on a point across the road

and walk

With the closed eyed hope

The closed eyed hope of someone who will take a serendipitous occasion

And just check, to see if life feels need to erase him

In case him     and life are feeling like a strange sim

Ulation

Elation

Could be like a little vacation

Abrasion

I've already tried to hit the breaks and…

There aren't any

So I'm just dragging my feet